IWOOT #1

I Want One Of Those #1

* Ok, Ok, so I'm a family kind of guy. My motoring aspirations may not have the same heady heights as Jeremy Clarkson, but I know what I like. And I like my Toyota RAV4. So, in the US they have this larger version of the RAV4 called the Highlander. Not only is it roomier but it's also a hybrid, so -  bingo - I'd get to green as well. I can dream, can't I?

The Bees win League Two title

I wouldn't call myself a football fan in any true sense of the word, but I have 'supported' our local team, Brentford, since 1966. So, I take great satisfaction in seeing The Bees heading back to League One football next season, after being in the doldrums of the relegation zone of the Coca-Cola Football League Two last season. Brentford manager, Andy Scott, earned his 5-year contract by putting Brentford at the top since mid-February and keeping The Bees well and truly humming. The team are off to Las Vegas to celebrate a job well done.

* The BBC Sport site tells the story here.

Dylan Hears a who - Seuss via Zimmerman

Two years old now, but still a cracker if you grew up with Dylan and Dr Seuss...

A music producer named Kevin Ryan took the text from seven Dr. Seuss classics stories, including The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham, composed original tunes and recorded them, singin in Bob Dylan's mid-'60s style. He registered a domain name, dylanhearsawho.com, in Feb 2007 and posted his seven tracks online, accompanied by suitably Photoshopped album artwork, under the title Dylan Hears A Who. The lawyers of Dr. Seuss's (aka Theodor Geisel) estate couldn't see the humour in it, issued a 'cease and desist' notice for copyright infringement, and the site closed (although it's still there - and if you click on one of the Google AdSense/Words text ads you'll probably earn Kevin a few pence still - I'm sure you're interested in visiting the Dylan Hotel in Dublin, of course). Dylan, if you wondered, didn't give a damn about the whole matter. Parody and satire, whether obvious or subtle, lie at the heart of 'fair use', surely? 

* Thanks to the self-propogating wonders of the internet, you can read the story here on Salon.com and download the tracks here. Oh, or hear them on MySpace.

St George's Day

Wikipedia - that ever-reliable source of accurate information - says:

In the fully-developed Western version (of the legend of George and the Dragon), a dragon makes its nest at the spring that provides water for the city of 'Silene' (perhaps modern Cyrene) in Libya or the city of Lydda. Consequently, the citizens have to dislodge the dragon from its nest for a time, in order to collect water. To do so, each day they offer the dragon at first a sheep, and if no sheep can be found, then a maiden must go instead of the sheep. The victim is chosen by drawing lots. One day, this happens to be the princess. The monarch begs for her life to be spared, but to no avail. She is offered to the dragon, but there appears Saint George on his travels. He faces the dragon, protects himself with the sign of the cross, slays it and rescues the princess. The grateful citizens abandon their ancestral paganism and convert to Christianity.

...and so they named dozens of pubs after Georgie and his fire-breathing protagonist. Especially, the George and the Dragon at Fordwich, Kent. Used to be nice, but not so nice now as it used to be (better to nip round the corner to the Fordwich Arms instead).

* King Edward III made George the Patron Saint of England when he formed the Order of the Garter in St. George's name in 1350, and the cult of the Saint was further advanced by King Henry V, at the battle of Agincourt in northern France. George also has patronage over herpes, leprosy, plague, skin diseases and rashes and syphilis - or so it says here.

Everest Test Match #2

Congratulations to the Everest test explorers for setting an official new world record for the 'Highest game of cricket ever played' and the 'Highest altitude recorded for a field sport'.

www.theeveresttest.com

Mais wee, c'est les asperges vertes

St George's Day heralds the start of the all-too-short British asparagus season; typically, it runs until Midsummer's Day (June 21). Thick-stalked spears from Herefordshire's Wye Valley are luscious and only have one wee, well-known side effect.

* Aspergere = 'to sprinkle' in Latin. Try sprinkling asparagus stems with freshly-grated parmesan and a hint of balsamic and 'evoo' (twitter-speak forr Extra Virgin olive Oil).

* British Asparagus growers

Crème de la Crème Egg

It's an egg, Jim, but not as we know it. 

* CDM Creme Egg takes a sunbathe video

* A French-fried egg

* DIY egg

* Pimp your egg

Twenty's Plenty ... we'll end up walking

Government ministers are keen to improve road safety but not to alienate motorists by introducing a 20mph speed limit on residential roads and near schools; they will also suggest that new speed cameras should only be placed in areas where crashes occur frequently. However, it is local authorities that ultimately decide speed limits. The sign above is seen all over Glasgow, where Scotland's local authorities seem to be setting the pace. Sensible, but we'll all end up walking...

'The authorities charged with enforcing our present road traffic legislation have generated an enormous amount of anger among motorists by the aggressive, clumsy and occasionally incompetent way in which they have implemented it. Speed cameras can be of benefit – but when their placement is "sneaky", designed to ensure that the maximum number of motorists are fined rather than to enhance road safety, or when they are placed at the precise point when the speed limit on a road drops from 50mph to 30mph, the result is to ensure that motorists despise rather than respect the laws of the road. They simply seek to evade them when they think they can. That does not help reduce the number of car crashes. If anything, it increases them'. (Source: Telegraph Online Mar 2009)

* Today's Telegraph Online article: 20mph limit to cut road deaths

Another catch-up: Toy Story 2

  

Brilliant animation from Pixar. Humour, emotion, action, technology all rolled into one. Plenty of homages built in (to Star Wars, Cape Fear and many more), as well as the usual adult jokes so that it plays at all levels. That's the wonder of Disney...

* Tour guide Barbie: "...and this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand." True, only 60k were ordered by US retailers in the launch year; to date 9m models of Buzz Lightweight, sorry - Buzz Lightyear, have been sold worldwide.

* Director John Lassiter's story is here: hereitbegins.blogspot.com

* www.pixar.com - Up is the latest full-length feature from Pixar

Spot the difference

The Beatles win... (see pic of Procul Harum on previous post)

* Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Beatles' magnum opus, was released on 1 June 1967. It was ranked the greatest album of all time by Rolling Stone in 2003. Indeed, it is a true masterpiece.

* Procul Harum's first album, Procul Harum, was released in 1967. A Whiter Shade of Pale topped the charts in July 1967, but did not originally feature on the UK edition of the LP.

* The infamous Monterey Pop Festival was also in 1967.

Top 75 Songs nonsense

The following tracks feature in The People’s Chart, a list of the top 75 most-played tunes in Britain, compiled to mark the 75th anniversary of music licensing firm Phonographic Performance Ltd. What a hotch-potch ... but there is genius hidden in there:

1 Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade Of Pale, 1967
2 Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody, 1975
3 The Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do Is Dream, 1958
4 Wet Wet Wet - Love Is All Around, 1994
5 Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, 1991
6 Robbie Williams - Angels, 1997
7 Elvis Presley - All Shook Up, 1957
8 Abba - Dancing Queen, 1976
9 Perry Como - Magic Moments, 1958
10 Bing Crosby - White Christmas, 1942
11 The Beatles - Hello Goodbye, 1967
12 Rod Stewart - Maggie May, 1971
13 The Beatles - Get Back, 1969
14 All Saints - Pure Shores, 2000
15 Cristiano Spiller ft Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love), 2000
16 Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 2000
17 Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You, 1992
18 George Harrison - My Sweet Lord, 1971
19 The Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women, 1969
20 Sinead O’Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U, 1990
21 The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony, 1997
22 Natalie Imbruglia - Torn, 1997
23 Elton John & Kiki Dee - Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, 1976
24 T Rex - Hot Love,1971
25 Madonna - Vogue, 1990
26 Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You, 1998
27 Doris Day - Whatever Will Be Will Be (Que Sera, Sera), 1956
28 Al Martino - Here In My Heart, 1952
29 Paul Anka - Diana, 1957
30 Bing Crosby - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, 1943
31 Freda Payne - Band Of Gold, 1970
32 John Lennon - Imagine, 1971
33 Candi Staton - Young Hearts Run Free, 1976
34 Glenn Miller - In The Mood, 1939
35 Elton John - Sacrifice/Healing Hands, 1990
36 Texas - Say What You Want, 1997
37 Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes, 1984.
38 New Radicals - You Get What You Give, 1999
39 The Everly Brothers - Cathy’s Clown, 1960
40 John Travolta & Olivia Newton John - You’re The One That I Want, 1978
41 David Whitfield - Cara Mia, 1954
42 The Archies - Sugar Sugar, 1969
43 Elvis Presley - It’s Now Or Never, 1960
44 Cliff Richard - The Young Ones, 1962
45 Human League - Don’t You Want Me, 1981
46 Judy Garland - The Trolley Song, 1944
47 Slim Whitman - Rose Marie, 1955
48 Celine Dion - Think Twice, 1994
49 Macy Gray - I Try, 1999
50 Nilsson - Without You, 1972
51 The Beatles - From Me To You, 1963
52 Band Aid - Do They Know It’s Christmas?, 1984
53 Les Brown And His Orchestra - Sentimental Journey,1944
54 Harry Belafonte - Mary’s Boy Child, 1957
55 Cher - Shoop Shoop Song (It’s In His Kiss), 1991
56 Robbie Williams - Strong, 1999
57 Billy Joel - Uptown Girl, 1983
58 Frankie Laine - I Believe, 1953
59 Gerry & The Pacemakers - You’ll Never Walk Alone, 1963
60 Outkast - Hey Ya, 2003
61 Tony Christie - (Is This The Way To) Amarillo, 1971
62 Shadows - Wonderful Land, 1962
63 Barry White - You’re The First, The Last, My Everything, 1974
64 East 17 - Stay Another Day, 1994
65 No Doubt - Don’t Speak, 1997
66 Bee Gees - Stayin’ Alive, 1977
67 Sean 'Puffy' Combs - I’ll Be Missing You, 1997
68 Tom Jones - Green Green Grass Of Home, 1966
69 The Real Thing - You To Me Are Everything, 1976
70 John Travolta & Olivia Newton John - Summer Nights, 1978
71 Ella Fitzgerald - It’s Only A Paper Moon, 1945
72 Wings - Mull Of Kintyre, 1977
73 Eddie Calvert - Oh Mein Papa, 1954
74 The Police - Every Breath You Take, 1983
75 Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer, 1992

Gastronomy and village green cricket

Pic: The Barley Mow, Tilford, Surrey courtesy of allposters.com

The following have all played cricket at one time or other: Bacon, Lamb, Veal, Trotter, Duff, Roll, Root, Gosling, Beet, Sweet, Branston, Pepper, Salter, Peach, Capon, Partridge and Pheasant. For the fish course: Salmon, Herring, Whiting, Hake, Pollock, Pike, Bass and even Whale. There's Mead, Waters and Beers for drinks and at least 14 Cooks (including our current 'Chef'). Sadly, in the culinary if not the cricketing sense, there are no Ducks.
* Above courtesy of inveterate writer of letters to newspapers, Neville Denson, of St Bees, Cumbria, who also wrote:

Cricketing Compassion by Neville Denson

He runs the village pub, at drink
And food works long and hard
Yet every Wednesday in the nets
He comes and takes his guard;
He turns his arm a time or two
He'll chase balls wide and far,
Then back he'll go at nine o'clock
To keep behind the bar.

He's way down in the averages
He's slower in the field,
He would have been out leg-before
If someone had appealed
But everyone took pity on
This ageing number seven
Though on his form he wouldn't make
An under-nines' eleven

His bowling was atrocious
He couldn't hit the sticks
He'd sixteen no-balls, fourteen wides
And none for ninety-six.
But everyone took pity on
This ageing man of spin,
And said that dropping him would be
A shame, a crime, a sin.

Such is the heart of cricketers,
Compassion won the day;
We'll nurse him till his form returns-
Oh yes, and by the way,
Our feelings are not influenced
By the fact - let's make it clear -
That after games he treats both teams
To dinner and free beer.

* Vilage Cricket blog

* Daily Telegraph: Willow Walks: Britain's best village cricket grounds - pitches that will knock you for six

Everest Test Match #1

Click here to follow the exploits of the mad-cap cricketers on their '10-day walk to the middle' to play the 'Nokia Maps Test' on Everest.

* There are two team squads, Hillary and Tenzing, named after Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay who on May 29, 1953 became the first people to summit Mt Everest.

Old Willie - the Village Worthy

The captivating Old Willie by Scottish Realism painter Sir James Guthrie (1859–1930), associated with the Scottish Boys, on display in Glasgow's Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum.

The Scottish Boys were a group of Scottish artists who revolutionised Scottish painting from 1880 until about 1895. They rebelled against traditional Victorian sentimentality and painted everyday subjects in a fresh new way, often capturing their subject by painting out of doors.

Most of them studied abroad, were influenced by what they saw (and what became known as Impressionism), absorbed the ideas of composition, paint application, subject matter and technique and became internationally acclaimed. Their young rebellious phase only lasted 15 years, and many of them went on to become traditional society painters.

* Kelvingrove

* The Painting Struggle blog

Crunch munch

George and Tony's Credit Crunch Ice Cream screen print by graphic designer and exhibiting artist DUNC4N, a graduate from Duncan of Jordanstone college of Art in Dundee. His style is understandably graphic, with blocked textures and patterns and typography always a feature. Simple, aesthetic and playful. Seen in Urban Outfitters, Glasgow.

Easter daffodils in Glasgow

Spring visitors to Glasgow are greeted by a mass of daffodils across the city. Above photo taken in the Botanical Gardens. 

Triptych inspired by Man Ray

*Click on the triptych to enlarge

* Man Ray was an admirer of the paintings of Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres and made a series of photographs, inspired by Ingres's languorous nudes, of the model Kiki in a turban. Painting the f-holes of a stringed instrument onto the photographic print and then rephotographing the print, Man Ray altered what was originally a classical nude (entitled La Baigneuse by Ingres). He also added the title Le Violon d'Ingres (1924), a French idiom that means 'hobby'. The transformation of Kiki's body into a musical instrument with the crude addition of a few brushstrokes makes the original a humorous image, but her armless form is also disturbing to contemplate. The title seems to suggest that, while playing the violin was Ingres's hobby, toying with Kiki was a pastime of Man Ray. The picture maintains a tension between objectification and appreciation of the female form; hopefully, my addition of the third image (though not my original work), on the left, brings that appreciation up to date.

High Five-for Freddie Flintoff

Posturing, seemingly arrogant, Freddie Flintoff gets a hat-trick, takes a 'five-for', snatches two catches and fails wih the bat in St Lucia. All good enough to allow England to win their first one-day series in the WIndies. Onwards and upwards to the ICL, the WIndies in England and then the Ashes ('Freddie's Ashes', lest we forget). Freddie's back and in form with the ball, at least...

St John's Passion @ St Paul's

Sang JS Bach's St John's Passion masterpiece in St Paul's Cathedral tonight - the annual performance by the Cathedral Choir, Cathedral Chorus and the London Mozart Players. The sublime moment of Christ's passing was enhanced by the poigant, muffled chiming of the Cathedral bells for quarter-past-the-hour - and distant police sirens 'managing' the last of the G-20 protestors in the City of London.

Financial (April) Fools' Day

Obamamania hits London, along with G-20. 

* 'Don't shortchange the future for fear of the present', says the President. 

* 'We cannot afford a further discretionary stimulus', say the Governor of the Bank of England and David Cameron. 

* 'Print your own money...', says www.G-20meltdown.org.

You pays your money and takes your choice. I couldn't possibly comment...