Thanks to Bob Crowe and his militant, striking RMT union buddies (who brought most of the London Underground train system to a grinding halt), I enjoyed a riverboat trip down and back up the Thames - from the City of Westminster to the City of London - as part of my daily commute through the centre of London. There was no cost, apart from having to listen to the cockney banter of the comedian on the tannoy, who did his earnest to earn some post-trip tips by giving us a (mis)guided commentary on the riverbank attractions. Some of his comments at least showed a deal of insight into London-on-Thames and raised a titter:
• Waterloo Bridge was dirty underneath but clean on top because it was self-cleaning, being built from Portland Stone (as are Buckingham Palace and St Paul's)
• The all-glass frontage of the Daily Star and Daily Express building was said to be "the main headquarters and training centre for the London window-cleaners' association".
• The best time to get into St Paul's was on Sunday "because that's when they don't charge and have a Sunday Service..."
• "Tate Modern is on your right. Entrance is free - once you get inside you'll understand why..."
Boarding by The London Eye ("33m passengers since it opened"), we headed down river past the elegant Hungerford footbridges ("opened in 2002") by Charing Cross Station, the South Bank that Prince Charles described in 1984 as a carbuncle (the proposed extension to The National Theatre was never built, but it still looks like a nuclear power station), Cleopatra's needle ("its twin is in NY's Central Park"), the Savoy Hotel (currently closed for refurbishment), Somerset House ("the taxman's former home"), the wobbly bridge leading north to Wren's masterpiece, St Paul's, under London Bridge ("1973 version"), the old Billingsgate fish market building, the thatched-roof Globe Theatre, the shining frontage of the famous Anchor pub in Bankside, the replica Golden Hind boat, and finally past the vast Silver Cloud cruise liner from Nassau moored next to HMS belfast and City Hall, down to Tower Bridge (currently being repainted) and Tower Pier.
Thanks, Bob and your militant RMT mates ,for a very enlightening trip.
"Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." Samuel Johnson, 1777
